Welcome to this holonet node which describes my house in Tsarin and some of the items found inside. This short tour, with a transcript of a holonet show hosted by two famous interior designers, will give you a rough idea of the layout. Nonetheless, I invite you to visit personally and meet my pets, eat some Rice Crispics, or watch a holovid or two. Enjoy!
Pugel Krantz, Personal Advisor to Sean Trenwell: In this episode, we'll be discussing a house in the city of Tsarin, on the eastern hemisphere of Talus. [Presses play] Immediately upon stepping into the foyer, we see that the occupant is a fan of melee combat arts. Some fearsome creature stands guard, ready to leap into action in defense of this home.
Lordis Dreln, Imperial Decorator, Second Class: Such gaudy decorations are in clear violation of Imperial Decorating Initiative (I.D.I.) 23J: "Black, Gray, and White." The owner of this home should of course be prepared to show permits for owning deadly weapons such as these. Only an Imperial Stormtrooper could possibly have a valid use for such implements.
P.K.: Ah, and this would be the homeowner himself. His use of curved shelving provides a great deal of organizational space while hugging the curved walls of this room. From the items on the shelves it seems this area serves two purposes: a ready-room for battle preparation and weapon repair, and also a display room for trophies and spoils of war.
L.D.: As I suspected, some miserable Bothan fleabag lives in this house. No Human would have such poor taste. He probably believes that crude talisman over his threshold holds some mystical powers.
P.K.: The homeowner told me that these Bantha Dolls are gifts from The Order of the Fuzzie Lords, based on Tatooine. It is unusual to see such a collection, as most people only have the much more common Bantha Statues. It is likely that this Bothan has close ties with The Order.
L.D.: These dolls are displayed in flagrant disregard for I.D.I.O71C: "Nothing Fuzzy, Nothing Cute." I wonder what other infractions this idiotic Rebel managed to fit in his house?
P.K.: Overstuffed couches under colorful holovid posters are the key to this room. Subdued lighting provides a calming atmosphere, and I do believe I see some...
L.D.: SPICE?! Is this Bothan insane or merely an imbecile? If this is really spice, he must be reported! Give me those controls!
L.D.: Yes, that is clearly spice and spice-related paraphernalia. I must report this! [Dashes out of room]
P.K.: It's surprising how open some people are with their spice use. Aside from that though, the entertainment center dominating the other side of the room shows that several forms of entertainment are available in this small home. Well, I suppose we should continue.
P.K.: This pleasantly-furnished dining room shows a nature theme. The wooden chairs, live trees, and floral artwork lend a rustic, natural ambiance. The blue rug gives both contrast and stain resistance. Let's see if we can take a closer look.
L.D.: [Distant shouting about illegal spice use]
P.K.: This shot makes the homeowner's political affiliation quite clear. The inviting fireplace with detached, free-standing chimney is a design not often seen outside Talus. And look, a dish of Bantha Snacks! Further evidence that this Bothan spent some time on Tatooine before.
L.D.: [Distant crazed shouting about coordinates on Talus]
P.K.: The architect of this home managed to fit a kitchenette into a nook of this room. A painting of Endor and a bowl of fresh fruits and vegetables supports the nature theme.
L.D.: [Returning] This house will soon be seized by Imperial Stormtroopers. I have it on good authority that a squad is being dispatched as we speak. I wouldn't be surprised if this Bothan is an insidious Rebel.
P.K.: [Chokes violently on his Caf]
P.K.: Here is a closer look at the ingredients on the counter. This wide assortment includes riverweed from Kashyyyk and even royal jelly from Yavin!
L.D.: [Pondering] Perhaps the Empire will reward me with this very house. With some major changes to its furnishings, it could be made quite livable.
P.K.: This simple furnishing style is common in bedrooms, and allows residents to relax after a long day. Apparently the homeowner's pets use the Bantha Dolls as toys, since they are spread over the entire house!
L.D.: Ah, finally a room that obeys Mandatory Onerous Requirement nought-N...
L.D.: Yes, the requirement that major pieces of furniture be either black or white.
P.K.: This large terrarium includes both aquatic and terrestrial elements. We see that the owner's pet gnort is enjoying the waterfall and nibbling on some leaves.
L.D.: Amazing! Not only is this spicer dealing with illegal substances, he is growing a controlled plant species in his house! By Imperial decree, all specimens of Alderaan Flora are to be turned over to Imperial officers upon discovery. This stupid Bothan is breaking so many laws, bringing him to the Empire's swift justice will make me famous!
P.K.: Here's a closer view of the terrarium. Notice that the Alderaan Flora is carefully placed so the delicate petals do not run into each other or other parts of the terrarium.
L.D.: Wait, I'm getting a page. [Reads to himself from a viewscreen] Why that's strange... all communication with the dispatched transport was lost shortly after it entered Tsarin airspace...
Strange, I could have sworn there were a full dozen Bantha Dolls in my house. After taking a complete holovid scan of the entire structure, I only count eleven. Please help me find the Bantha Doll not shown above!
Design, construction, and decoration of this house took nearly two months. After placing the foundations in April 2005, the contractor began a galaxy-wide search for suitable furniture and decorations. This project was only finished thanks to the support of over a dozen vendors, crafters, and donors. The two hundred items in the house include:
In total, over 60 items were custom-made and especially named for this house.
- 20 Paintings and posters
- 18 Foods and condiments
- 13 Light sources
- 12 Plants
- 12 Bantha dolls
- 7 Sound sources
- 5 Creature pets
- 4 Rugs
- 2 Rebel banners
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While Curby designed and furnished the house, the following people made instrumental contributions:
- Eceri - furniture
- Noeco - furniture and decorations
- Kriles - food
- Pappi - foraged veggies
- Desiato - creature pets
- Eto - stove burners and monetary support
- Sean Trenwell - ornate rug
- TCO - a warm welcome to Chilastra after the mysterious destruction of my homeworld, TC-Prime
- SOE - the game industry's most powerful decorating engine in the industry's buggiest MMO